I’m a bit much. Of a lot of things.
I’m much too loud, much too emotional. Much too happy, and much too sad. I’m much too short and my hands are much too small. I pray too much, cry too much, read too much and sing too much. I think too much…write too much. So much so that it felt like I was too much to express in one place. So I tried to compress and compact…edit, edit and edit…and repackage myself until I finally had a little vial of sunshiney potion. I was rephrasing and rebasing my rhetoric until it was perfectly refined. Yellow and mellow… I was little miss sunshine.
I was a nice, simple, single serving of white rice. Moderately easy to digest, not too complicated. It’s safe to say I had modified myself to become a dish to be ordered by the masses so I could suit a multitude of palates. White rice is perfect as a side dish or a foundation. It’s a good place to start to build up on…take a little and add a little to suit your own preferences. And that was ok for a while…till I realised I was thinking too much about what other people would think. Of what I wrote and how I could make it sound in their ears. And as an end result I was giving just enough of myself to fit conventions and social ideals. I was slightly afraid to be more loud, more emotional, more spiritual. More real.
The truth of the matter is I am unconventional. I am far from basic and I am much too much. I am a wild exotic blend of emotional mess and stress. I am a mad fusion of fantasy, faith and frolics. I am a spectrum of sun…meaning that depending on the time, place or situation, I can be any colour. Forget the mellocity of yellow…I am a bright blend of vivid. In a nutshell I am jollof. 😀 I saw this quote on Instagram and it made me chuckle. Because I realised it was true. So many of us put on a front, we masquerade ourselves in order to fit in. We act yellow when we are actually a beautiful hue of blue. We hide our true beliefs and so on because we are afraid to offend, afraid to be mocked or afraid to be misunderstood.
But the truth remains, no matter how hard we try to please the masses, we’re still not going to be for everyone. You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea but that’s ok because you’re not meant to be. You were meant to be different, to stand out.
Let’s get tasty!