You’re in a plane. Flying through the air; a regular easy breezy flight. And you can see the end in sight; the city you’re heading to…the runway somewhere in the near distance, still a speck but easily definable. All of a sudden, you hit a spot of turbulence and the plane cannot withstand the pressure. It gets thrown off course and disintegrates. High up in the air, totally unexpected. It’s just a freak accident…nobody could have seen it coming. Now you’re hurtling to the ground. Wondering if this is the end. Or if by some miracle you’ll land on your feet.
Just that moment. Caught in slow motion. Falling…
You’re underwater. Exploring glorious reefs and marvelling at the vast array of color that lines the ocean floor. All of a sudden…you’re struggling because your foot snagged in a stray band of seaweed. You break free, but you’ve been under for so long. You need to breathe. You can see the light high, high above you. You’re floating upwards, towards it . But you don’t know if you’ll be able to break the surface, before the pressure breaks you.
Caught in the moment, slow motion. Drifting…
It’s as though you’re having an out of body experience but you’re completely aware of what’s going on around you. You’re there, just not quite there. Time stops. It is irrelevant. You’re not quite living but you feel more alive than you have ever felt. You can feel…everything. Your senses are heightened.
I’ve been out of it lately. To be completely honest. Out of my usual step. The swing of things. I don’t feel the need to talk quite as much…my favourite spot is the kitchen. The place between the busy hustling bustling office and the noisy outside where my colleagues jostle in playful banter. The place where I can be confined in solitary. My space…my limbo.
I’d have thought it would be quieter here. Devoid of meaning. Lacklustre. But like I said. Emotions rage like a silent fury. I am falling in love with bits of poetry and my eyes brimming with tears over a new song I discovered because it is just so beautiful. Usually I’m pumping caffeine nonstop into my system just to keep moving. But lately I’m content with the simple comfort of a cup of tea as I sink further into my oversize knit sweater. (Although I may add; the lack of coffee?… not by choice).
Life is so beautiful.
It’s in the moments where you’re about to crash and burn when you discover all the very many things that you have left to live for. Life is worth the living.
It’s enchanting…to be given the chance to fall in love with life again. But those few precious moments where it all stops. The picture defragmenting into a million tiny pieces before it reforms and morphs into something even more magnificent. Those moments are mind blowing…clarifying. Refocusing of my perspective.
It will end soon I know. I will burst through the surface and the oxygen will fill my lungs as it all comes rushing back. My life in limbo will be gone. Time will start again and life will be faster than ever.
I wish it wouldn’t. But when it does, I hope I never forget.
The reason why, the purpose.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time”-Ecclesiastes 3:11