Two Three months ago I made my last post. And that makes me so sad. I never imagined that stoking someone else’s fire would keep me so preoccupied, that I would neglect my own for oh so long. But my fire’s a persistent fighter so it’s still been burning in the back of my mind…and here I am now, three months later.
Oh I long for a day when it will burn brightest! When I’ll have saved enough and started enough and schemed enough to say goodbye to my now and hello to my forever. Busyness isn’t always best. It’s frustrating…I’ve been so busy lately I have barely enough time to be. I’m freaking out about December drawing nearer as August is come and been. I’ll be twenty something +1 in 9 days time, and I’m still undecided about how to feel about that. I’ve barely nicked the top of my 2016 to do list. And I’m running helter-skelter to try and at least let this list burn.
So I had a little more gusto in August. More drive, more deliberation. More resilience about getting about. As I tried to understand why life insists on deviating from set paths and veering off schedule. I huffed and I puffed and I tried and tried to let the wind drive me. I took on more and I studied more. And I suppose that should have left me at the top of my game. But it didn’t. Halfway through September I’m looking around bewildered, wondering where the time went and why my efforts seem spent. Shouldn’t I have been fulfilled by now. Having met targets and accomplished goals?
Wasn’t the hustle and bustle supposed to get me somewhere? The winds of change? What was the lesson in all this?
I went back home in August.To the place where I can kick my shoes off, sit back,relax and take a deep breath of everything good. The place where new memories are made with old friends and nobody needs to explain anything, because we know what everything is. It was a deliberate move on my part. I needed a momentary escape to the not so quiet quietness I know. It’s so peaceful back there, and yet there isn’t complete silence. It’s golden silence. Where I can think out loud and hear God speak.
It’s a good place to start because it’s the place my dream was born. The place where I was born. Going back always puts things in perspective as I remember even little things I’d tucked away, forgotten. I purposed then to start doing all the things I’ve been neglecting. I picked them off the shelves and dusted them off. All the little things that I thought were inconspicuous and unimportant and yet have been key to my divergence off the ‘straight and narrow’. I’m purposely treating myself and being spontaneous and writing down imperfect bits of things like this. That are far from perfect but perfectly me.
Every now and again we all need a burst of fresh air. A gust of wind of inspiration to fan our flames, and remind us of the reason why we started. Why we are doing what we do. Not to say you can’t find that in the city but if you’re from the countryside you’ll know what I mean…but how to make the most of these moments? Listen.Take a minute to swing open the window and take a breath. Appreciate what a beautiful day it is on the outside and how things on the inside are not so bad either. Determine your perspective and how you choose to see things. And most importantly, let God be that for you.
At the beginning of the month, (August that is), I came across a quote that said, “August is the Sunday of Summer”.On one side of the world they were saying goodbye to Summer, planning to get busy again. Meanwhile over here we were saying hello Summer and goodbye to our one week of winter! Activate vacation mode! Bring out the swimsuits that must have shrunk because I couldn’t possibly have put on that much weight!
Seasons are not the same for everyone. Summer doesn’t always come for you when it knocks at your neighbor’s door. But that’s not to say you have to be glum and miserable, peeking through their window…wishing. Have hope that Summer will come for you too…the sun will shine again and look out for it. Don’t let the Sun (Son) pass you by…
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart…but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake…but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After that a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.
And after the fire there was a sound of a gentle whisper. (1 kings 19:11-13 para.)
I’m trying not to take life too seriously and enjoying what’s been given, even when it falls short of my expectations. Contentment is the key. Listen for the whispered promises and don’t get distracted by the things that shake up your world and threaten to wreak havoc.
Be still…and know. That He is God.